Life is Good

It's time for bed. Chris said my bedtime was 10 or 10:30 pm tonight. He's studying like crazy for his last final (I'm proud he's working so hard) and the boys actually went down by 7 pm tonight, which meant I was able to crash on the couch for a few minutes (unintentionally), do the dishes, and work on random stuff that piles up now that I am not being so OCD anymore. And I can tell you, life is so much better when I'm not freaking out about "everything" and trying to do "everything" and focusing obsessively on all the little things in life that don't really matter. I have actually played with the boys multiple days this week (it's still weird to me that I was actually paid to play and struggled even then; I still have plenty to learn!). Ian and I made oatmeal cookies today, since he's been asking to do that for weeks, it was a small success that I finally followed through after telling him over and over that we would.

I think it is far too easy to become complacent and end up doing things that don't really make you happy, even though it makes sense intellectually that what you are doing doesn't make sense. I know I'm being really abstract, but it all makes sense to me, and the past few weeks have been very therapeutic for me. I feel better. I feel happier. I feel lighter; it's almost as if years of worry are being stripped off as I refocus my attention and self on the best things in life. I feel good and I hope I can keep doing what matters most, 'cause life really is good right now.