Living Life

I was just reading a friend's blog and she said that she hasn't blogged in awhile because she has been busy living life. I really liked that. So I figured since it is almost February it was probably time to update my Christmas background, add a few pictures and philosophize for a few minutes. It's interesting how easily we can get caught up in things that don't really matter and how refreshing it can be to make positive changes. I almost have to laugh at myself at how "married" to my bad habits I have become over time and yet how much happier I am now that my priorities are more in order. Not to say that I am perfect or do things right everyday; I definitely have my moments. But overall it is so nice just to feel the peace that comes from not running after and spending most of your time on the things that don't matter as much. I am not trying to knock blogging or whatever other moms do to stay sane, because heaven knows I was thrilled to have my boys in bed by 7 pm tonight and have some time to do the dishes then just "veg" on the computer for awhile. But that is the difference for me. I don't have to be on the computer all the time. Before it was almost as if I felt like I was being unproductive if I wasn't completing tasks on the computer and yet the simple joys and responsibilities were sitting undone all around me.

I also have had to let go of blogging right now for the most part because I was so obsessive about making sure I had practically ever photo/event from our lives posted and that became an impossible task! No wonder I was feeling overly anxious!! I just looked in my pictures folder and had to laugh; my "to blog" folders date back to August. Oh well. I had figured at one point that the blog would be my "scrapbook" and that we would print it at the end of each year and have some form of family history. But I have just had to let it go; I don't have to blog everything, that's just not realistic and expecting that was not making me happy; it was making me anxious and upset, so silly. Funny that for awhile there I was willing to base my happiness on my life being "blogged" rather than enjoyed. It's fun to keep records. I love writing and I really do enjoy blogging, but not when it ends up hurting me or my family; I didn't like that I was being driven to do something at costs that just didn't make sense! So I hope I can be more balanced about my time and standards in blogging when I allow myself to do it more regularly again. :) I have been trying to be better about writing in my journal or recording thoughts about being a woman/mother on another blog, but I am taking the pressure off so life can be enjoyed not just pushed to a point that it's no fun.

So here is a very brief snapshot of what I've mainly been up to the last few months:

Trying to spend more quality time with Ian, especially during Cooper's naps. We made oatmeal cookies. We try to have quiet/reading time each day (unfortunately I am the one who wants to nap after this, but Ian thinks otherwise...). I also have started a schedule of an activity/"project" that we do each day. Last week went really well, this week being sick, I didn't have much motivation to follow through on my plans, but that's okay. Hopefully next week will be better and it is at least a step toward being more proactive in doing fun stuff with my kids!
Decorating the house for Christmas was a blast! (and then I took pictures of all of it, I was so tickled with how it turned out, I'm a nerd). Chris was really busy at the start of December preparing for finals so I was really proud when I went to our storage unit by myself (that would be a first) and got all the Christmas boxes and Ian and I set most of it up ourselves. We saved decorating the tree for a Saturday morning when Chris was home. I have to admit, I don't think I've ever decorated a tree in the morning but it was really fun! Since our boys just love getting up early it was still dark outside; it was kind of cozy and neat to be decorating in the still of the morning, wearing our pj's. That might just be a new tradition, we'll see. I bought a few new decorations on sale at Roberts and those are my cute stockings I sewed last year with the help of Chris' mom and sister, Robyn. They turned out great, I am very proud of them! And I do have to give Chris credit for picking out the fabric. I am one lucky girl, it's not many women who can get their husband in a fabric store, let alone have him care what you choose for stocking material!
Cooper discovered how to climb on the Cooper which was really funny. We took it to his 1 year pictures at JCPenney and had it in the picture with him which was cute. Cooper is a funny boy. My best guess here is that Ian depantsed (sp?) the poor child; Ian is very successful in the torturing his younger brother arena. Coop is still not walking yet, which is fine with me, since I am a little nervous to have both of them running around our apartment! He will stand up for a few seconds and has taken a few timid steps. Otherwise he crawls speedily around (we call him "Scamper") and love to get in to whatever he can--lately it is the hand mixer and onions from the cupboard. Tonight he decided to crawl into the dishwasher while I was unloading it and throw glass plates onto the floor; luckily they didn't break but he did act pretty put out when I scolded him. He looked at me like, what's your problem mom, I'm just throwing things! Leave it to mom, she always spoils the fun...
I keep plenty busy between the boys, the house, Law Partners, and my calling. Plus we started a little co-op preschool (Chris refuses to call it "Joy School" so I try to support his wishes....) with a few other kids/moms in our ward. At first I was pretty worried about doing it, even though we rotate and I only have it about once a month. We do it twice a week and have been learning the alphabet. It really has been fun to come up with creative ways to teach the letters, with games, books (have I mentioned I love books?! If you didn't know that, check out my goodreads! LOL), songs, crafts and snacks. This week was Jello jigglers for "J". All four of the children, including Ian, started Sunbeams in January, which honestly freaks me out. It's amazing how having a child old enough to attend Sunbeams makes you feel really old! Mostly I just pray for the teachers and hope they can have patience with my dear, lovable but energetic and talkable 3 year old! It's amazing how fast he is growing up and what a smart boy he is! I am amazed daily at the conversations we have, the things he says and remembers. What a joy! (and yet such a trial at other times!! He is definintely in the power/testing limits stage!!)
Mostly I just thought this was a sweet pic of Chris and Ian. Ian loves to cuddle. Today he came in and said, "Mom, hold me." Talk about melting your heart! How could it get any better than this? I wouldn't trade this for the world. But really the other reason I chose this pic is because I couldn't find one of Chris, especially not one of both of us in it. Crazy how you have kids and suddenly you and your spouse are really not that exciting to take pictures of! (not that we ever were...) I have really been trying to focus more on Chris lately. Luckily we have found a new shared hobby, watching "House" together. I watched one episode with him that was kind of risque which bugged me, but was glad I gave it another shot. Not that I love some of the junk that is in it sometimes (not that I'm trying to justify it...it is sad that TV has so much bad stuff in it nowadays!) but it has been something really fun for us to relax and look forward to. We ended up signing up for Netflix so we could get the past seasons and are also watching Season 5 currently which luckily has moved to Monday nights so it no longer conflicts with Chris' YM's on Tuesday nights! Post-FHE time for Chris and I! :) I know I have a long ways to go to learn to be the type of wife and person Chris needs, but it is reassuring to me that I recognize this and that I am trying to change, despite how slow and frustrating that process may be, especially to poor Chris who is incredibly patient with me as I strive to change.

P.S. I am on a huge red and black kick lately (I know the red shouldn't surprise many of you...). If you've seen my house lately I am doing red accents in our living room and working on a few other accent projects. Not quite sure when I am going to do those (could have tonight instead of blogging or doing stuff on the internet, but oh well, on the next "free" night I have) but it has been a fun new project just to add a little fun new decor to our house. I figure I should make this home since this really is "home" for now! The new pic at the top of our blog is a sign I bought a few months ago that I love. It fits in great with my new red/black theme, but more importantly really epitomizes how I am trying to live life now. Oh, and I was super excited for our new Valentine's day background as it too makes me just feel happy inside to see it, since it is totally fulfilling my red/black addiction.