10.14.2008

My Attempt at Motherhood

It's definitely not why we had Cooper but it did give me a little chuckle when I saw this, especially since as I type this, Cooper is crying, having woken up early from his nap (darn it) and Ian had already refused to go down for a nap earlier despite my best efforts (double darn it). I am afraid I complain and whine more than I realize or would like. It is something I am working on (notice one of the books I am currently reading on my Goodreads list if you don't believe me). I really do want to be more optimistic and enjoy this (and all stages) of life more. Overall I feel like I have made progress in my ability to do this (at least compared to how I was a few years ago) and yet I know I am not being as purposeful in the type of mother I am being or the home I am creating. Sometimes, more than anything, I feel like I am in crisis mode, just barely getting through each day. This is definitely not the type of relationships or home I want to be building! No excuses, but I find it hard for me to balance so many demands oftentimes, and I usually end up putting Chris and the boys on the back burner to complete other projects. I know that my family is the most important thing in my life, and don't want it to be otherwise--and yet my actions and the time I spent focusing on other things, instead of them would often say otherwise. But I am working on this! As much as I struggle with it each day, I hope the fact that I at least notice my tendency to do this is a big step toward making the changes I need to reprioritize and take better care of the things and people that matter most.

4 comments:

kate said...

i really liked this post. i think you summed up what a lot of mothers feel like, especially feeling like you're trying to just get through the day, that's definitely how i feel a lot of times...thanks for helping me remember i'm not the only one!

Kohler said...

Amen! I've been going through the same thing lately. But today was much better. I finally put my home & family before this dang computer and we were all much happier! Good luck!

Stephanie said...

Jenny, after living next door to you for two years, I saw daily the kind of home you are creating. I think you are doing an amazing job. Your kids are darlings and they are truly loved by you and Chris. No one who has seen you with them could ever doubt the home you are building.

Angie said...

Wow, Mothers have so much to do and so much to take care of. I'm sure that you do in stride and I know that you are a wonderful mother. I don't have to see it to know it. You are amazing. Dont be too hard on yourself.