9.24.2008

Success?

Hallelujah! Ian got a nap today. He really needed one today (just ask Chris' sister, Robyn, or half the neighborhood who likely heard screaming coming from our house about 1:30 p.m.) Somehow we got through the meltdown and were able to read stories and were laying down on my bed. Ian started to get up and fight going to sleep, but I firmly told him that if he didn't lay down and take a nap today that he was not going to watch movie, PBS, or play pbskids.org on the computer for the next week. He immediately put his fingers back in his mouth and we both fell asleep within minutes.

Some may say that was overly harsh or that I am threatening my child. I really don't want to do either of those, but I am realizing that even though he is only 3 years old, I can't let him run things to the extent that he can refuse things such as naptime without some consequences. I honestly don't know that he is completely cognitively, developmentally or emotionally able to process these concepts, but at the same time, I know I need to teach him and not just give in because I am exasperated, or because it seems like the easier way out for both of us (it's often hard for me to follow through!). I know I don't always handled things the best or most appropriate way, so I am very open to suggestions on how I can be a better parent. I just got a book on children and discipline today at the library; I really am hoping I can learn some new skills that will help both Ian and I to be happier. Not to complain or anything, but I honestly don't know where they got the whole "terrible two" concept--I have to say I think the "terrible threes" seem more appropriate to me. Now that Ian is able to verbalize and do so many different things, it almost has become harder to handle situations, especially sometimes when I think Chris and I expect too much of him. I have to remind myself--he may be smart and know lots of words and can talk to us, but he is still only 3 years old! We definitely need to learn to strike an appropriate balance between realistic expectations and remembrance of his age and developmental stage.

I ending up sleeping for a few minutes this afternoon, quietly slipped out of my bedroom where Ian was sleeping peacefully and ate a bowl of soup (It was 3 p.m. by now...no wonder I was so ornery...I had missed lunch in all our "chaos"!) and wrote in my journal for about 20 minutes until Cooper woke up. But I was grateful for the few minutes of down-time I got, even if it wasn't quite as much as I would have like. Ian ended up sleeping until a little after 5:00 p.m. which I usually don't like letting him do, but I figured since he'd been so out of it lately and hadn't had a nap in days, I'd let the poor kid sleep. Which meant getting him to bed tonight was a little more or a challenge (he was still down by 8:30 p.m. so not too bad). He ended up wanting to sleep on my bed, which I decided to let slide and not push the issue, since oftentimes we are putting him there so he doesn't wake up Cooper anyways (this btw, was after he had already woken up Cooper a few minutes earlier when he left his bed searching for his blanket, Cookie Monster, who was already in bed with him...!). I am also realizing that I need to be more flexible. I am afraid my need for control and to have things a certain way probably ends up being hard on my boys. I definitely I learning a lot from being a mom! They are patient to put up with my mistakes and learning curves. Hopefully I am getting better over time.

2 comments:

kate said...

hi jenny!

i love your honesty. it helps me realize that i'm not the only one that has a hard time dealing with my 3-year-old sometimes...it sounds to me like you're doing a great job! it's definitely hard some days!!

Robyn said...

Um does the phrase "because I'm the mom" still work? I, for one, use it a lot...